So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
