as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
