Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
