hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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