I cannot find my penis.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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