I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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