I queefed so loud it echoed.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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