Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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