If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
