operation harelip BJ is a go
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
