you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
