Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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