let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
