im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
