R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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