guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
