Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
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Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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