Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
