she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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