We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
