you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
