Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Wish you were here....

(734): View more from Michigan

And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?

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(219): View more from Indiana

I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth

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(773): View more from Illinois

Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.

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(815): View more from Illinois

omg. MEgabus. stoned.

(815): View more from Illinois

Theres these two guys talking.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother

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(771): View more from

Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.

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(240): View more from Maryland

It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.

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