You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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