Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
