just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
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theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
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She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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