Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
