He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
