this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
