Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
