How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
