He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
