I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
