i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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