I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
