btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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