True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
