We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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