How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
third nipple confirmed
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
