I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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