You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
