Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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