Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
