Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
