No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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