i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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