Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
