Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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