We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
