lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
