you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Randomize
