your parents love me but you hate me
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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