just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
