I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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