I would go down on you faster than GM stock
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
