It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
