Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
