the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
